Free Resources
Healing from betrayal trauma is overwhelming enough—you don’t need another maze to navigate. That’s why I created this resource library: a place where you can access the tools you need in one spot.
Each download is designed to bring clarity, language, and validation to what you’re experiencing.
Whether you’re questioning your partner’s behaviors, naming your own trauma responses, or simply looking for your
next step forward—you’ll find something here that meets you where you are. Take what serves you. Leave the rest.
And remember: you don’t have to do this alone.
Is He Really in Recovery?
Sometimes it feels impossible to tell if your partner is actually doing the work of recovery—or just saying the right words. This checklist shines a light on the patterns that reveal the truth.
You’ll learn how to spot:
Accountability red flags (defensiveness, secrecy, avoidance)
Emotional + relational red flags (minimizing, blame-shifting, “move on already”)
Spiritual or manipulative red flags (using God, faith, or therapy language against you)
You don’t have to second-guess yourself. These are not overreactions—they’re awareness. You deserve honesty, healing, and the freedom to stop settling
Signs of Betrayal Trauma
When betrayal shatters trust, the fallout shows up in your body, your emotions, and even your ability to function day-to-day. This checklist helps you recognize that what you’re experiencing is trauma—not weakness, not “crazy.”
You’ll find:
The most common physical signs (like sleep disruption and stomach pain)
Emotional signs (rage, anxiety, grief, numbness)
Cognitive and relational signs (hypervigilance, isolation, distrust, self-doubt)
Naming these responses is the first step toward healing. You are not broken. You are experiencing betrayal trauma—and you are not alone.
Is He a Porn or Sex Addict?
Discovering hidden porn use or sexual behaviors can leave you spiraling with questions: Is this just a bad habit—or something more? This guide helps you sort through the confusion by outlining red flags of sex addiction versus occasional use.
You’ll learn:
How escalating behaviors point toward addiction
Why secrecy and risk-taking are significant warning signs
Why naming what you’re facing matters for your safety and healing
This resource isn’t about labeling your partner—it’s about giving you clarity so you can make safer, stronger choices for yourself.
Choosing the Right Support
Not every professional understands betrayal trauma—and the wrong kind of support can actually add harm. This checklist equips you to evaluate whether a coach, therapist, or clinician is truly trauma-informed and partner-sensitive.
You’ll learn how to identify providers who:
Recognize betrayal trauma as trauma—not codependency
Prioritize your safety and validate your reality
Are trained in APSATS, ITAP, ERCEM, or other trauma-sensitive models
Encourage boundaries without shame and avoid “just forgive and move on” shortcuts
You deserve support that sees you, believes you, and centers your healing—not just his recovery
Finding Him the Right Support
If your partner is seeking help, the provider he chooses matters—for him and you. Not every professional understands betrayal trauma, and the wrong provider can minimize your pain or focus only on his “sobriety” without addressing harm.
This guide helps you recognize:
Red flags in a provider (dismissing your pain, telling you to “just forgive & move on,” or focusing only on him)
What partner-sensitive means (sobriety paired with empathy, honesty, and integrity)
Green flags that show a provider will hold him accountable and protect space for your healing.
His recovery should never come at the cost of your safety. This resource equips you to discern whether his provider is truly safe for both of you.